Its been SO long

So I know I havent blogged in a LONG time, and Ive been thinking about it. But I have found its hard to blog when I have a cranky 8month old. HA! So my update; Autumn is still in school and is improving. Lily has gotten her 1st two teeth, and she stands now, and she crawls everywhere. I have been trying to bake cookies, and get ready for the holidays. Like Christmas shopping, not done. But on the 28th of December we are having a "Christmas" with my family, Riley will be here, and my parents, and my brother and sister in law are coming over. We did it last year too, this year we are gonna have Ham. mmmmm. I have my tree up, and last week we went to a Christmas party and won a new camera. Good thing too we needed a new one. Now its just keeping up with a baby who wakes up all the time. I have been so very tired, so if I drift off on something its because I have been having a hard time focusing. Ah I think I hear the baby beckoning me so I guess this is it for now. I hope to write more soon, Check ya lata, alligata.

Anxiety

I have had overwhelming amounts of anxiety lately. Its a lil stressful, I have no clue why either exactly, so its hard to control. But I manage, with a few mins stepping outside, and the heat going away its gotten a lil easier. But I know my medication is not helping, the side effects are worse then the anxiety.

Lily has been getting up a lot, and Ive had a lot of off feeling days, and days of not feeling well, and heartburn and various other things too personal to mention, lol. Im excited for Halloween though, I cant wait to get the girls costumes!!!! Autumn wants to be Lady Gaga (should be interesting since they dont have toddler costumes for Lady Gaga).

BACK

So I havent posted in awhile!! I know, I was on vacation then life got in the way a bit!!!

I went to Michigan for 3 wks, took the kids (Autumn, Lily & Riley) to the beach, and a splash pad, and shopping fun stuff ya know. Then came back; my mom was in Minnesota for a wk, we did the state fair, Duluth, dinners, stuff ya know. Then Autumn started school this wk. Today is her 2nd day, she loves it, except the getting up early. Ive been super busy working on a diaper cake for a friend's baby shower. She is having a boy, and having a Winnie Pooh theme, so I am doing a lot of orange and brown and green and blue. The cake is 3 tiers, 1 tier of newborn diapers, & 2 of size 1 diapers. I so far only have a few little travel size items, I plan on more. I am currently trying my hand at making coffee filter roses, we will see how that goes. And organza ribbon bows. The bows are easy! I also am hoping to get some ribbon for around each tier that is brown and blue plaid. Super cute. I have some more stuff, and very little time to do it all in (1 1/2 wks). Then I hope to get her something else that is from her registery, just to wrap up. and of course I forgot the freaking curtain that is Winnie pooh at my moms house!!! Crap.

I also have been painting the girls room! I am painting pink accent walls. And moved Lily back into Autumn's room. Autumn was becoming afraid of the little room Lily was sleeping in, oh and I am working on a screen (I have to put the fabric inside into it).

I still have to paint my upstairs bedroom, and the downstairs bedroom, and clean and carpetting, and SO much to do!!! I think this house could be a "home" but its gonna take a lot, and Dennis really doesnt want to put too much into it bc he wants to live more in the cities, which Im kinda ok with, but Id prefer an area I just dont think we can afford. We will see.....

WOW computers suck

So I cant seem to get anything done because my computer never seems to work. Its a little silly because its not even like anything major... See the screen on my laptop is cracked, so I have a monitor hooked up to the laptop, works great!! Really does!!!! Because the monitor reduces glare. But then suddenly the monitor started acting up, I would turn the laptop on (and you can tell when this thing is on) and then suddenly the monitor would turn off.... and it has been back and forth for weeks!!! Im getting a little more then annoyed, and would love to just buy a new whole system (a bit hard to do when you dont have work or money). But that is the deal if I dont write that would be why.

Id like to share a photo I took today though.

Lily is 4 months old tomarrow, I cant believe how big she is getting to be!!! Its crazy seems like it was just yesterday I was cleaning the house in preperation to be induced! She loves to look at things and baby talk to people!! Plus shes mommy's little cuddle bunny! Such a sweetie!

I WAS holding on but..

So its going to be an annoyed ranting blog today....

I was holding on so damn desperately to getting married to this man (my kid's father), but at this point I give up. He annoys me by making EVERYTHING a stupid debate, and when I open up its like telling me Im wrong ALL THE TIME! I want to get married, some for the fact that we have been together for nearly 5 continuous years, and another yr on top of that! We have known eachother for 7 yrs. Ive given birth to 2 girls for him, and nothing. I have gone through hell and back for this man and he thinks that he doesnt owe me anything, like "I pay the bills so I shouldnt have to help you, or anything" And on top of it I now no longer have health insurance because of his stupid income, and I cant get on HIS insurance bc HIS HR doesnt recognize a domestic partnership (which is what we are considered I guess). This ends up resulting in the fact I can no longer get my birth control, and my dental done (especially great since I had a filling come out), and if I get sick Im screwed.

I feel like he doesnt give a damn about this relationship we have, and I should just move on, and I think I would if I could find work and a home here in Minnesota with my girls. I love the state and dont want to live with my parents again/anymore, Im 27 I shouldnt be living with them!

I just want to kick him and tell him how much he hurts me, but if I did heaven forbid he might fly off the handle and who knows what, kick us out so Im left on the fly out of a home? I just give up, I guess the last person who wanted to be with me was my ex, who I really dislike!!

Blog out~

Day 24 Photo challenge

Day 24 is a photo of an animal, well I dont actively have animals nearby, and with no transportation I chose my oldest dog Tippy. Shes trained enough that she would let me get close without freaking out! Not bad I dont think, seeing as I got that where she is the focus, and the background (with Autumn looking on) was a big blurry, AWESOME!!!!

Day 22

I didnt realize that I didnt post this one... slipped my mind... Day 22 was a photo of hands. This took some trial and error, messing with lighting, flash, no flash, what to put under the hands, etc. It took me a good 8 shots or so. But I got a good one!!!!

And all the research I have been doing for this is REALLY paying off, now if I could only get my 3 yr old to take direction.

Day 23

So Im still one day behind but I will get these done!!!! So I did day 23 yesterday, as I am still researching Day 21. Day 23 is a photo with a color scheme I went with a pink scheme.

Day 20 photo challenge

Day 20 is a photo with motion in it..... I had Autumn spin around as I did some photos of her.

Photo challenge Days 17, 18 & 19

So I have been so busy Im trying to catch up on the photos. But I have at least 3 here....

Day 17: a photo using streetlights (this was a hard one since it was raining some nights). Day 18: a photo of shoes (I used my daughter's bc I really dont have shoes, I have 2 pairs). Day 19: A photo of something orange (Autumn's pokemon toy).

Sucha busy mom

I have been SO horribly busy Ive even slacked from several of my photo challenge days, argh! But I didnt want this to go into fogotten land......

I havent totally forgotten to write. I just have been busy, Lily is keeping me up, and making sleep a challenge plus she does NOT want to nap. And Autumn has had an attitude about EVERYTHING lately. But I finally at least got her to eat today, well eat her meat. I made something called Desperate Chicken, you can find the recipe on cooks.com. excellent website! The chicken was super easy I just had to throw stuff together and marinate it for a few hours, then dump it into a dish and bake it for like an hour. Wasnt too bad. Then tomarrow leftovers are going to be tacos. Somedays I swear Im at my wits end. Lily's colic almost seems to be getting worse the more she figures out how to move. Then Autumn thinks shes the boss of EVERYTHING, she will yell at me for going to get the mail without her or something.

But Im mom, so I just suck it up and deal.

I will admit I have not been feeling any sort of love in this house lately, and its not like theres anger either, just we dont talk. Or really have anything to do with eachother. The girls are always taking up so much time that I cant even get a second to think or even take a shower I think I am heading over 2wks since Ive had a shower, I just dont have the time, and when I do have the time I cant trust "dad" to take care of the girls bc just yesterday I asked him to change Lily while I gave Autumn a bath. Did he? No he ignored her crying until I came and got her and then complained that he was trying to pay bills, and I told him well I think the bills could had waited the 4 mins it would had taken him to change her poopy diaper...... I just dont care anymore.

Honestly Im looking for work, and a way to stay in this state but not live here anymore. He doesnt know or care because Ive tried to tell him, and he just ignores me. I have given up on love, at least on love other then with my kids.

Day 16 Photo Challenge

So Day 16 is a long exposure, after much research this is basically a slow shutter speed.... SO I practiced charged my camera and got a shot actually got 2.

One is actually Autumn in motion and the other is Autumn with a flashlight in motion.... the light one was actually practice.

I know I know

I havent posted my Day 16 photo challenge photo yet... its been a long day and currently Im researching as well as charging my camera. Ive been able to take most of the pics with my blackberry, but I dont have a setting for a long exposure on it, so I have to use my other camera (which is for whatever reason dead, and the other is suddenly lack of a battery). So Im working on it.... I need to figure out how to set this sucker...... I promise I will post and update asap.

So with further research I just need to wait for a charge..... But I think Im going to redo this photo challenge too next month or something, maybe take my time on it, I know somedays Ive been rushed to get the photo that day. So I think Im going to do these "goals" again but do maybe one a week, and post them to some sort of album then link the album on here.... Then you can see the practice I put in..... But I found my "setting" for a long exposure.... pretty neat... this isnt my official day 16 photo but its my practice to see if I had the right setting, and the battery was nearly dead....

Lily's try at cereal

So today I thought I would do a test run at Lily eating infant cereal, shes only 2 1/2 months, but what could it hurt? I didnt give her a lot, and both of my other kids started much earlier like 2 or 3 wks. Lily liked it though. I even added a little peaches to it, good thing too, she was kinda confused at first and thought it was just watch and laugh at mommy time, till I showed her what she was suppose to do, I look like the mom from the Incredibles though when shes feeding Jack-Jack, I do that whole mouth motion thing. I dont even try to I just do. lol

Days 14 & 15 Photo Challenge

So day 14 was a photo of eyes... ooo dramatic... this one took me some time. I kept trying to get Lily's eyes, and she wouldnt sit still, I tried my own, but I had NO time to do something interesting, so I did Autumns.... She as Tyra calls it "Smeyes" I dunno smile with her eyes.

And day 15 is of a silhouette, which I also by research learned that it doesnt have to be of a person, but the use is for a dramatic purpose... well I like this look with my tree and the sun, especially since you can see some clouds in the shot too.

Today's park trip.

So we have a NICE old 65 chevy. Its a nice little truck, but neither of us know much about engines. This last week my darling thought he'd drive it but something was leaking, so today we had to take it in. We dont know when we will get it back right now, but since we were out and about anyways we went to the Lake Elmo Park Reserve. It was nice, breezy, and Autumn had a blast. She ran and played. It was SO nice, then we went and got some chinese (I would had rather had subs or something, but I left it up for debate, and chinese it was). Anyways, it was a nice day. Ive been working on a grocery list since I got home and am about to watch Secret Life.....

Days 12 & 13 Photo challenge

Day 12; was of a sunset (or the sun) I picked the closest to sunset I CAN see.... the last time I see the sun from my house is about 6pm, that is before it disappears behind trees and buildings.

Day 13; 13 items, was the photo, I picked my daughters tea set, its just a plastic set, but its SO cute. I had the lil play cakes, and cups, and tray and everything. SO cute. I even counted the items 3 times.

day 11 photo challenge

Day 11: a photo of something blue. I picked the cutest pic EVER! Its my Lily laying in a bean bag chair, her new favorite place other then mommy's arms to be. She likes laying there! And since the Bean bag chair is blue I just over all think its super cute!

My mom's vacation is over

So this morning my mom went home (shes driving so shes more on her way right now). It was a GREAT week, and I cant wait till she moves out here, but silly economy & house market just wont let her. We did tons of stuff.... More with food then anything. We went shopping, we took Autumn on rides, we had lots of new foods. We went to a place last night called Brit's Pub, we met my brother and sister in law there. It was nice, but I still had rather sat outside on the veranda then inside where it was super loud and no one could hear anyone. But it was still good food. My mom had Banger & Mash (she liked it), my brother had a shepards pie, my sister in law had a cobb salad, my boyfriend had a steak sandwich thing, & I had their Cheese Toasty & tomato soup. It was SO good! I know its just a grilled cheese, but the cheese they used was really good, and cheddary and golden. The soup was creamy and smooth, and souper tastey (haha like my play on words there?). Then we went down the road to a coffee place and talked and stuff, I didnt say much I was busy with the girls. My brother and sister in law brought their IPad and Autumn LOVED it! I guess I might have to get one too now, well next time I get something like that it will have to be an IPad I guess. It kept her in one spot and entertained, so that is a HUGE plus!

But now Ive got to get ready for Autumn to start school in July for 3 wks, then in August we head out to Michigan for 2 1/2wks, then my mom will be back in Minnesota for a week at the end of August. We plan on going to the fair then, and maybe a wine tour if I ever get the tickets (I have a thing that takes the price from 46$ for 2 people to 23$ for 2 people). But that is all to come, yet. One thing at a time, right now its Appointments and Autumn's school in July. And daily stuff. But never know I might have some fun up my sleeves.

Day 10 Photo Challenge

Day 10 (which was yesterday) was changed to a photo of someone you love. I did have it switched with Day 9, bc everyone I love was either at work, or already asleep by the time I realized what the day's photo was suppose to be.

So I did a photo of Autumn and her Dad, Lily was suppose to be in it too, but she was napping, and was down for a LONG nap! So I figured I could always do this one this time.

Day 9 photo challenge

So I decided, since everyone I love has been apart today I would switch day 9 and day 10, so my NEW day 10 is a childhood memory. I took a picture of my baby blankie, I use to play with this thing, as well as be wrapped in it when I was a baby. Its been with me 27 yrs, and when you live 600+ miles from where you grew up there isnt much else that gives you a childhood memory.

My mom didnt know if I was a girl or boy, she also made it, she has also made a special blanket for each of my kids. Riley was purple & white, Autumn was pink and white & Lily is a green and apple green mixture. Lily's is also different bc it is round. Mine and the kids are square, but I picked a round one for Lily, she got green bc she was born the month of March which makes me think green for St.Patty's day.

Day 8 Photo Challenge

Day 8 (aka my birthday) photo challenge is of a bad habit. Well I dont have many except being mad, and well I dont think of taking a pic of that when I am... so I chose a bad habit I USE to have, Im more in control now of...... Drinking, aka Captain Morgan. Now primarily for cooking and special occasions, but use to be for cokes and bars. Next is of someone I love, but everyone I love is either not here, or in bed... so Im a day behind, but I will catch up!!!! I just have to double up or switch day 9 & 10.... hm thats an idea!

Day 7 Photo challenge

So Day 7 challenge is a photo of fruit. Well I havent been home much to have fruit in the house, and fruit disappears faster then I like so what I DO have is baby food fruits.... mmmmm Pears and mango, and prunes.

Day 5 & Day 6 Photo challenge

So Day 5 is on the right, it was a photo from a high angle...I went to an ice cream place its Lychee fruit and Green tea frozen yogurt. I assumed a high angle meant Im higher then the object. and Day 6 was from a low angle so I did the opposite of day 5 and was lower then the object. I like balloons too, they were left from Autumn's party.

So most recent news...

So Im not sure if I mentioned this but last weekend my mom suddenly showed up to my house, surprised the crap outta me.

So anyways, I have been very busy with her, we have gone to the Mall of America (took Autumn on several rides, one of which was a mistake). So the rides we rode were the carousel, the ferris wheel, she rode on some other kid rides, and one log chute. I think she did better on the log chute then I did. My lovely mom, bought the picture they take when you are at the drop. I will NEVER ride that thing again!

We also have done a few other things, went out for my birthday (which was the 8th) I am now 27 years old. We have just kind of done this and that. I didnt know she was coming so didnt really make plans. Tomarrow though we are meeting up with my older brother at a local english restaurant/pub for dinner. I have not been able to do a lot of my 30day challenge, bc of the visit. Its been taking up all of my time. So I have been trying my best though. I missed day 7, 8 & so far 9 but Im not in bed yet. We will see I may post them all together here. But that has been what I have been up too.

Day 4 Photo Challenge

I know I didnt post yesterday but it was Autumn's birthday party. And I ended up with a GIANT headache from the heat and activity. But I was amazed bc my mom (who lives 600+ miles away) showed up and didnt give any indication that she was going to come. She told me she was still at home, goin to Menards, or walmart... The brat showed up, and surprised me and my brother. It was a great party, and to top it off shes on vacation for the week!!

So Day 4 was something green. I chose an anime character, Sargent Frog.

Im losing my mind

I think Im going insane. Tomarrow is Autumn's party, and Ive barely gotten one salad done. I have another salad to make, and the WHOLE house to clean. But Lily isnt liking this because shes totally fussy! She wants me to hold her all the time. And Im praying that its something as easy/simple as teething or something, but who knows. Shes kept me up all night, and at one point I was begging her to sleep bc I was SO tired. I seriously need a break, one night that I can sleep and take a bath and be waited on.....

Id love one night in a fancy hotel, where I can get a massage, sleep on a bed that is super fluffy and all for me, and take a bath in a jacuzzi, watch some tv all with some dim lighting. And order room service and relax. I just need one night, Im only 26/27 and I looked in the mirror I look 10yrs older then I am. And I know "Your young dont worry about it.." But I dont think any woman wants to look older then what they are, especially not something like 10 yrs older.

Ive just begun to feel unattractive, and not pretty at all, and tired all the time. So much that Im grumpy more often then not. The worst part is that "Daddy" only sees me as a mom and that I dont need to be told Im pretty or get a lil extra sleep once in a blue moon. Im so busy and my whole life is about the kids that I cant even remember the LAST shower I took, I know it had to be sometime the last week or 2, but I really cant remember. Thats sad....

Day 3 Photo Challenge

Day 3: A picture of your favorite place to be...... (Now normally I would try for a picture of my favorite vacation destinations, or something like that but today and more recently its just been someplace that I can see, touch, feel, but still seems outta reach, especially with Lily). And that would be my side of the bed...... Yes my favorite place to be more recently is bed...... its been 48+hrs since Ive been in bed. Sigh

Day 2 Photo challenge

So Day 2 is a photo depicting emotion. I decided since Autumn wasnt in my first (bc she was being my timer) that this one would be of her. I asked her to smile, well right as I took it the new puppy did something, so it was REALLY happy.

30 day photo challenge

So I heard of this & thought I would par-take. Problem is I found 2 different ones. So & excluded some that seemed silly (like of what you wore today) & put in some challenging ones like shadows & stuff. So here are my days, & Day 1's photo

Day 1: Self Portrait

Day 2: Photo depicting emotion

Day 3: A favorite place to be

Day 4: Something green

Day 5: A photo from a high angle

Day 6: A photo from a low angle

Day 7: A photo with fruit

Day 8: A photo of a bad habit (I figure this will be perfect bc day 8 will be my birthday)

Day 9: A picture of someone you love

Day 10: A picture of a childhood memory or of something that creates a childhood memory

Day 11: Something blue

Day 12: Sunset

Day 13: A picture of clouds/Sky

Day 14: A picture with eyes (haha the eyes have it)

Day 15: A silhouette

Day 16: A long exposure photo (I hope I can figure this out with my camera, or I might have to do something else)

Day 17: A photo using street lights

Day 18: Your shoes (I thought Autumn would like this one)

Day 19: Something orange

Day 20: A photo with motion

Day 21: A photo using shadows

Day 22: Hands

Day 23: A photo with a color scheme

Day 24: A photo of an animal

Day 25: Something pink

Day 26: A Close-up

Day 27: A photo from a distance

Day 28: A photo with landscape

Day 29: A black and white photo

Day 30: a photo of whatever you like.

Almost Party time!

Well its almost time for Autumn's 3rd Birthday party!!! I cant believe how old shes getting (its a good thing though), and I cant believe how MUCH there is to do for her party! And to top it all off "Daddy" went to mow the lawn last night and the belt broke...... you would think that would be easy to repair.... well it is, but there isnt one place that HAS the belt for our toro mower (go figure). But now its just down to getting last minute supplies, and ordering cake, and making stuff... I am very proud of my cooking, so I plan on making German Potato Salad, and Ranch/bacon pasta salad, then the easy hot dogs and burgers.... Best part? The burgers fit in bc her party is Spongebob related!

But today the girls and I went out and cut flowers from my big white lilac bush, I love lilacs. So I HAVE to share these pics with you of the girls, Autumn wanted to share the flowers with Lily, too cute!!! Oh and their shots went well yesterday. Autumn only had to have one, and poor Lily got 3, I almost cried bc I had to hold her little arms down. "Daddy" held Autumn so she wouldnt pull away or anything. But I felt so bad! But they did pretty good.

Sorry its been so long

But it has been SUPER busy around here. Just last week we got a new puppy! An English Mastiff, she was born the same day as Lily, and she was free. Shes pretty good, but only 2 mnths old so she chews on EVERYTHING. She is already 28lbs, and getting use to the house. But along with her, we have been just generally busy getting ready for Autumn's birthday party on the 4th. She turned 3 this past week (the 27th to be exact).

I cant believe she is already 3. And on top of all the excitement, she has been accident prone lately. I wonder if its just a phase, doubt it. Lets see, a few days ago she was playing and somehow without knowing skinned the top of one of her toes, then yesterday she wore a pair of new shoes and got a blister from how stiff they are on the back of her foot, opened the heavy wood door so hard she hit herself in the face, tripped and fell on the sidewalk and scrapped her hands...... and I want to say theres something else in there that I cant think of. But shes been very accident prone.

I hope Lily isnt the same.

Its going to be one of those days

So it seems that everyday about 3/4 Central time I post, ha! Its grey out today, making my mood a lil sleepy. But I found this cool live animal cam today (whenever I need a zoo fix and cant get it I try to look at zoo's webcams. This one though is in Africa, its africam (or something like that) right now its like after 10pm there, so its mostly night vision, I didnt actually see anymore then a duck, but I didnt spend a ton of time watching it. It was cool though.

Otherwise I am starting to hope for a lotta things. One being that I get a reason, or this feelign like crap all the time goes away soon, and that Lily is gonna be on my team. Right now shes neutral, and my boyfriend has Autumn... So I hope for Lily to be team Mommy.

I havent cooked in a few days, but Lily has been a lil clingy. Happens with a newborn. But on Autumn's birthday next week I plan on making 100% homemade pizzas. Pizza#1: Chicken Hawaiian grilled pizza. Pizza#2: Sausage & Pepperoni. & Pizza#3: S'more pizza with chocolate, peanut butter & Marshmellows. We might have a 4th but I need to know how many people are gonna come first for just her birthday, and what they like to figure that one out.

Then on June 4th, we are having a birthday party for Autumn, shes gonna be 3 this year. So its a Spongebob party. A filled cake, balloons, sandbox, bubbles, etc. Food, burgers, hotdogs, cake..... wait I said that didnt I?

Thats just so far... I wish I had something MORE exciting but thats how it is when you have 2 young kids and no life.

Hooray!!

So first let me say I am OVERJOYED that people are reading!!!!! Makes me smile ear to ear!

Now on to today.... For anyone who doesnt live in Minnesota like I do, its been nice out, I know I should take my daughters outside MORE, but I never realized how much of a challenge that was when you have a newborn, and are mostly home alone all the time. Not that their dad, and my boyfriend doesnt help out, but just because this week he has NOT had a day off. Sometimes I could just scream bc of how erratic his work schedule is. But we make due. And I just want to say I feel a lil guilty for not taking them out more.

As far as other things, if you read my pregnancy/intro thing I said I have a son as well, but I havent said anything about him in my daily posts, reason (which I am blanking if I have touched on this but) being is he lives in another state with his dad, and stepmom. I talk to him once a week, and I get him for some time during his vacations. But I am very agitated with his father, bc I agreed last year that we would gradually take Riley from never being at my home to more and more time. So last year I had him 2wks in the summer, and expected at least 3wks this year. I was blasted from his father that they only WANTED me to have him 2wks only, with lame excuse after lame excuse. Im getting a little sick of his crap, but since this is a public blog I will NOT be saying too much on the subject, unless Riley is around then I might talk about him.

Anyways, I am still hoping to see him this summer, but it is a work in progress. Autumn loves him........ Ah Autumn, my non-verbal daughter, I love her.... last night she figured out who Lady Gaga is...... Watching fuse on tv and its a Gaga-thon, Autumn seen a video and asked who it was... I awnsered; Gaga; eventually the conversation turned into Gaga's boobs. Shes 3, but she knows what they are and as far as she knows those were food for Lily. I just thought that was funny. Had to share. Well I will go for now, perhaps I will post more later. See ya'll

Totally forgot; Dinner yesterday (5/17th)

Oh Oh Oh!!! I MADE the best dinner yesterday. Seeing as it was just me and the girls, I figured something quick would be perfect, or at least something I wouldnt have to sit there and watch like steak or anything on the grill.... So I started at like 3pm or something like that to make a "Basic Pizza dough" then after it sat for 1 1/2hours my 2 dough balls had risen, I rolled one (froze the other) and spread it with not pizza sauce but 3 cheese pasta sauce. Autumn wanted hotdogs on it, so I spread out sliced hotdogs, topped with cheddar cheese, baked for 20 mins.... and the results were GREAT!

AHH what kinda kiddo do I have?

So I am wondering if Lily isn't some sort of adhesive baby. She has been stuck to me like glue all day long, I put her down for a nap... She wakes up and cries. Its crazy. But on a lighter note we took the girls to a nearby park in Stillwater. It was hot, and this makes me worry about what the summer might bring, thank heaven for ACs.

But as you can tell it was still a fun trip. Came home and I have been just changing diapers, and what not.

Though my most recent concern is for the fact that I have been feeling ill, and (except today) Monday and Tuesday I was cramping all day & night. It wouldnt bother me and I would typically think this is normal, but I have recently gotten a birthcontrol shot, meaning I shouldnt have any cramping of any sort for 3months. I am hanging on though until me and the girls go in for appointments on the 31st. They (poor things) will be getting shots, me? I have a silly asthma check. I feel like telling them to just drop it, bc I have been handling my asthma for 8yrs on my own with minimal episodes..... I think I can handle it. But whatever. Ill probably find out then what in the wide world of sports is wrong with me.

Well better get, I hear Darling Lily crying.... as usual. lol Blog ya late

Mommy's lil alarm clock

So I apologize to everyone/anyone who might be reading, I am still figuring this whole thing out.

But onto bigger better things! Lily, my newest little sweetie decided last night was playtime... which needless to say was a little fustrating. I had been trying ALL DAY LONG to keep her up a little bit to play and whatnot, with failure. And then at 3am she woke me up, I would had woke her dad for a minute to help me after the time kept going on and on and on, but he was stuck at work. For the fact I havent mentioned much about him is because hes always busy. And his scheduled work times are typically 4pm to 2am. So anyways onto the story; Lily woke me up, so I got up, changed her diaper, made her a bottle, and even changed her into jammies. And yet the little girl stayed awake till nearly 6am. Finally I went back to bed just to wake at 6:30am to her big sister; Autumn crying, what about I am still unsure of. Its been a long night sorry its so short but that is how it is today.

Its been busy, but now the work

So over the past weeks I have taken on the hard task of caring for my 2 daughters and planning my toddler's 3rd birthday.

So far the conclusion is at a theme (Spongebob, is the favorite), and the cake will be ordered as one with a filling.

Now to everything else. I am debating on planning a lil tea party for my toddler on her birthday, it is a friday and if people are around or even if its me and her who says we cant have some fun. I never got to have a tea party as a kid myself so its gotta be fun, Im sure. Now I just have to figure out what to make, decorations etc..... Martha Stewart HERE I COME!

Ah quiet

So this is the first post and the biggest thing I have to brag about? Both of my girls are asleep! See I have 2 girls, one measuring in at almost 3years old, and another measuring in at 6 weeks old. As you can imagine it was easy to get my 6week old to sleep, but my 3year old? She is a WHOLE other story. Most days are a fight with her, and when they aren't a fight its because Im telling her that "Daddy is at work".

Its kind of boring, and super quiet, how did I take advantage of the quiet Mommy time? I watched Junior, you know that movie where the man takes a bunch of a medication and gets pregnant then has his baby? Yeah how sad is that? But it was better then my usual days which are typically worrying about money, food, clothes, my relationship with my boyfriend, and my kids, things like that. Or the biggest thing lately? Being annoyed that Im not getting married (NOT EVEN CLOSE) I know some may think Im living in sin or whatever. But I think of it Im in love, Im committed, and this is the father of my girls. I also have a boy.... He lives with his dad and step mom. Im a little annoyed that they are not willing to give me the time with my son this summer that would be fair, and believe that even though they get most holidays with him, that they need one more, and one less for me and my family. ARGH!

But its gonna be leftovers tonight while the Darling is at work, and whatever we can scrounge up. Eh, still good since steak is tomarrow night

Me as a mom ~ intro. (5/11)

Im a mom, I love it although there can be some tough times. I have an ex, I have kids that I love so very much. I have a man in my life though sometimes I think it would be easier if he wasn't (kidding). I stay home, not because I necessarily choose to, but because that is what makes sense right now. Lets face it ladies kids are not cheap! But I would do it in a heartbeat all over again.

Im young, and I have made mistakes, but I take care of my kids and my family. I hope you keep reading, and I hope that this brings you comfort, knowledge, advice, and a friend. Because you are NOT alone!

I have 2 1/2 kids, 2 girls that live with me, and a son who is with his dad. My son was born in the middle of summer. It sucked, hot, muggy, and I was in a whole lotta pain! He was healthy, 8lbs 8oz. My first daughter born 3 yrs ago, she gave me a run for my money. Went to the hospital once because her heartrate dropped down, then she decided to make me wait a week longer. She was born and weighed 8lbs 9oz. My second daughter normal boring pregnancy. She weighed in at 8lbs 5oz.

My kids are great, and they are my world. Just see what all I put in here, my days, nights, events, thoughts, hopes, and maybe some poetry or recipes.