I havent totally forgotten to write. I just have been busy, Lily is keeping me up, and making sleep a challenge plus she does NOT want to nap. And Autumn has had an attitude about EVERYTHING lately. But I finally at least got her to eat today, well eat her meat. I made something called Desperate Chicken, you can find the recipe on cooks.com. excellent website! The chicken was super easy I just had to throw stuff together and marinate it for a few hours, then dump it into a dish and bake it for like an hour. Wasnt too bad. Then tomarrow leftovers are going to be tacos. Somedays I swear Im at my wits end. Lily's colic almost seems to be getting worse the more she figures out how to move. Then Autumn thinks shes the boss of EVERYTHING, she will yell at me for going to get the mail without her or something.
But Im mom, so I just suck it up and deal.
I will admit I have not been feeling any sort of love in this house lately, and its not like theres anger either, just we dont talk. Or really have anything to do with eachother. The girls are always taking up so much time that I cant even get a second to think or even take a shower I think I am heading over 2wks since Ive had a shower, I just dont have the time, and when I do have the time I cant trust "dad" to take care of the girls bc just yesterday I asked him to change Lily while I gave Autumn a bath. Did he? No he ignored her crying until I came and got her and then complained that he was trying to pay bills, and I told him well I think the bills could had waited the 4 mins it would had taken him to change her poopy diaper...... I just dont care anymore.
Honestly Im looking for work, and a way to stay in this state but not live here anymore. He doesnt know or care because Ive tried to tell him, and he just ignores me. I have given up on love, at least on love other then with my kids.
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